1.I am a vicar in the Church of England.
我是一名英国圣公会的牧师。
2.I’ve been a priest in the Church for 20 years.
我做牧师已经有20年了。
3.For most of that time, I’ve been struggling and grappling with questions about the nature of God. Who is God?
在这20年的大部分时间里，我一直在努力解决和回答 关于上帝本质的问题：上帝是谁？
4.And I’m very aware that when you say the word God, many people will turn off immediately.
我很清楚，当你一说起“上帝”这个词， 很多人会立即走开。
5.And most people, both within and outside the organized church, still have a picture of a celestial controller, a rulemaker, a policeman in the sky who orders everything,
并且大多数人，无论是信教还是不信教的， 心中还是认为上帝是这样一个形像：一个天上的主宰者， 规则制定者，掌管一切的太空警察，
6.and causes everything to happen.
万事万物发生的根源。
7.He will protect his own people, and answer the prayers of the faithful.
他会保护他创造的人类， 并回应信徒们的祷告。
8.And in the worship of my church, the most frequently-used adjective about God is “almighty.”
在教堂里做礼拜， 对上帝最常用的形容词是“全能”。
9.But I have a problem with that.
但我觉得这个观念是不对的。
10.I have become more and more uncomfortable with this perception of God over the years.
多年以来，我已经越来越 对这个观念感到不舒服。
11.Do we really believe that God is the kind of male boss that we’ve been presenting in our worship and in our liturgies over all these years?
难道我们真的相信上帝是一个这么多年来我们在礼拜仪式和祷告中 描述的那么一位男性的老板形像？
12.Of course, there have been thinkers who have suggested different ways of looking at God.
当然，曾经也有一些思想家 建议用不同的方式来看待上帝。
13.Exploring the feminine, nurturing side of divinity.
比如：探索神的女性和育养的一面，
14.Suggesting that God expresses himself or herself through powerlessness, rather than power.
主张上帝是通过阴柔无力，而不是阳刚和力量， 来呈现自己，不管是作为男性或者女性形像；
15.Acknowledging that God is unknown and unknowable by definition.
接受上帝本来就是未知的，也不可知的，这个定义，
16.Finding deep resonances with other religions and philosophies and ways of looking at life as part of what is a universal and global search for meaning.
寻找与其他宗教和哲学之间共同的内涵， 以及作为全世界人类探索人生意义过程中看待生命的不同方式。
17.These ideas are well-known in liberal academic circles, but clergy like myself have been reluctant to air them, for fear of creating tension and division in our church communities;
这些想法在自由学术界是众所周知的， 但像我自己这样的神职人员却不愿意公开宣扬它们， 因为害怕在教会中会产生紧张气氛甚至分裂，
18.for fear of upsetting the simple faith of more traditional believers.
害怕打破传统信徒的纯朴信仰。
19.I have chosen not to rock the boat.
我选择了不去惹麻烦。
20.Then, on December 26th last year, just two months ago, that underwater earthquake triggered the tsunami.
然而，去年12月26日，仅仅两个月前， 海底地震引发了海啸。
21.And two weeks later, Sunday morning, ninth January, I found myself standing in front of my congregation — intelligent, well meaning, mostly thoughtful Christian people —
于是两个星期后，星期日上午， 1月9日， 我站在我的会众面前， 他们是一群智慧的、善良的、有思想的基督徒，
22.and I needed to express, on their behalf, our feelings and our questions.
我需要代表他们表达我们的感情和我们的疑问。
23.I had my own personal responses, but I also have a public role, and something needed to be said.
虽然我有自己的个人感受，但我还有一个公共角色， 这时需要说点儿什么。
24.And this is what I said.
下面是我当时所说的话。
25.Shortly after the tsunami I read a newspaper article written by the Archbishop of Canterbury — fine title — about the tragedy in Southern Asia.
海啸发生后不久，我读了坎特伯雷大主教 发表在报纸上的一篇文章，标题是： 关于发生在南亚的悲剧。
26.The essence of what he said was this: the people most affected by the devastation and loss of life do not want intellectual theories about how God let this happen.
他所讲的精髓是这样的： 因这场灾难和生命的逝去而饱受磨难的人们 并不需要一个理论来解释上帝为何让这种事情发生。
27.He wrote, “If some religious genius did come up with an explanation of exactly why all these deaths made sense, would we feel happier, or safer, or more confident in God?”
他写道：“如果真有宗教天才能够解释通 为什么这些死亡是合理的， 难道我们会感到更幸福、更安全或对上帝更有信心吗？”
28.If the man in the photograph that appeared in the newspapers, holding the hand of his dead child was standing in front of us now, there are no words that we could say to him.
如果报纸上刊登的照片里面的人 握着他死去孩子的手，现在站在我们面前的话， 我们将无言以对，
29.A verbal response would not be appropriate.
说任何话都不恰当。
30.The only appropriate response would be a compassionate silence and some kind of practical help.
唯一恰当的是满怀同情地沉默 和实际的援助。
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31.It isn’t a time for explanation, or preaching, or theology; it’s a time for tears.
这种时候不是解释、布道或讲神学的时候， 这种时候是流泪的时候。
32.This is true. And yet here we are, my church in Oxford, semi-detached from events that happened a long way away, but with our faith bruised.
的确是的。正因如此，我们今天来到这里，这个在牛津的教会，虽然 离海啸发生地有万里之遥， 但是我们对上帝的信心受到打击。
33.And we want an explanation from God.
我们希望上帝给一个解释，
34.We demand an explanation from God.
我们强烈要求上帝给一个解释。
35.Some have concluded that we can only believe in a God who shares our pain.
有人认为，我们只能相信上帝是能分担我们痛苦的。
36.In some way, God must feel the anguish, and grief, and physical pain that we feel.
通过某种方式，上帝一定感受到了我们所感受的痛苦、悲伤 和肉体的痛楚。
37.In some way the eternal God must be able to enter into the souls of human beings and experience the torment within.
通过某种方式，永恒的上帝一定能够进入人的灵魂， 体验人内心深处所经受的折磨。
38.And if this is true, it must also be that God knows the joy and exaltation of the human spirit, as well.
如果这是真的，那么上帝也必定知道 人类精神上的喜悦和兴奋。
39.We want a God who can weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice.
我们需要上帝可以与哭泣的人一同哭泣， 与高兴的人一同高兴。
40.This seems to me both a deeply moving and a convincing re-statement of Christian belief about God.
我觉得这篇文章是一个既感人至深又有说服力的 基督徒对上帝信仰的与过去有点不同的声明。
41.For hundreds of years, the prevailing orthodoxy, the accepted truth, was that God the Father, the Creator, is unchanging and therefore by definition cannot feel pain or sadness.
数百年来，盛行的正统和公认的真理是： 作为天父和造物主，上帝是永恒不变的， 因此根据定义，上帝是感觉不到痛苦或悲伤的。
42.Now the unchanging God feels a bit cold and indifferent to me.
现在，我感到这个永恒不变的上帝有点冷漠无情。
43.And the devastating events of the 20th century have forced people to question the cold, unfeeling God.
20世纪所发生的一系列毁灭性事件 迫使人们对这个冷酷无情的上帝产生怀疑。
44.The slaughter of millions in the trenches and in the death camps have caused people to ask, where is God in all this?
在战壕和死亡集中营里数以百万计的屠杀， 促使人们追问，那个时候上帝到哪里去了？
45.Who is God in all this?
那些时候谁是上帝？
46.And the answer was, “God is in this with us, or God doesn’t deserve our allegiance anymore.”
回答是：“要不上帝与我们同在， 要不上帝已不值得我们信仰了。”
47.If God is a bystander, observing but not involved, then God may well exist, but we don’t want to know about him.
如果上帝是一个旁观者，观察但不参与， 那么上帝可能仍然存在，但我们不想了解他。
48.Many Jews and Christians now feel like this, I know.
我知道许多犹太人和基督徒现在就是这样认为的，
49.And I am among them.
我是其中一员。
50.So we have a suffering God.
因此，我们有一个受苦受难的上帝，
51.A God who is intimately connected with this world, and with every living soul.
一个与这个世界，与每一个活生生的灵魂紧密相连的上帝。
52.I very much relate to this idea of God.
我很赞同这个关于上帝的看法。
53.But it isn’t enough. I need to ask some more questions, and I hope they are questions that you will want to ask, as well, some of you.
但这还不够。我需要再问一些问题， 希望这也是你们 想问的问题。
54.Over the last few weeks I have been struck by the number of times that words in our worship have felt a bit inappropriate, a bit dodgy.
最近几个星期以来，我很多次被我们做礼拜所用的 不恰当的和有点虚假的话所困扰。
55.We have a pram service on Tuesday mornings for mums and their pre-school children.
我们在星期二上午有一个对妈妈和学龄前儿童的托儿服务。
56.And last week we sang with the children one of their favorite songs, “The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock.”
上周我们与孩子们一起唱了一首他们最喜爱的歌曲： “聪明人建房岩石上。”
57.Perhaps some of you know it. Some of the words go like this: “The foolish man built his house upon the sand/ And the floods came up/And the house on the sand went crash.”
也许你们当中有些人知道这首歌。其中有些歌词是这样的： “笨人建房沙滩上， 风吹水涌起波浪，房倒屋塌遭祸殃。”
58.Then in the same week, at a funeral, we sang the familiar hymn “We Plow the Fields and Scatter,”
就在同一个星期的一个葬礼上， 我们唱起熟悉的赞美诗 “我们犁田与播种”，
59.a very English hymn.
一首非常有英国风格的赞美诗。
60.In the second verse comes the line, “The wind and waves obey him.”
在第二节有这样一行，“风和浪也顺从他。”
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61.Do they? I don’t feel we can sing that song again in church, after what’s happened.
果真如此吗？在海啸发生后，我感觉我们不能再在教堂 唱这首歌了。
62.So the first big question is about control.
因此，第一个大问题是关于掌控。
63.Does God have a plan for each of us? Is God in control?
上帝是否对我们每个人都有一个计划？上帝是否在掌控中？
64.Does God order each moment? Does the wind and the waves obey him?
上帝是否时时刻刻在安排这个世界？风和浪是否顺从他？
65.From time to time, one hears Christians telling the story of how God organized things for them, so that everything worked out all right.
人们时常听到 基督徒讲述上帝如何如何为他们安排各种各样的事情， 因此一切都最终顺利解决了。比如：
66.Some difficulty overcome, some illness cured, some trouble averted, a parking space found at a crucial time.
困难克服了，疾病治愈了，麻烦避免了， 在关键时刻找到了一个停车位，诸如此类。
67.I can remember someone saying this to me, with her eyes shining with enthusiasm at this wonderful confirmation of her faith and the goodness of God.
我还记得有个人在对我讲述这种故事时， 她的眼中闪烁着热情的光芒，认为这是她的信仰 和上帝的美德的伟大见证。
68.But if God can or will do these things — intervene to change the flow of events — then surely he could have stopped the tsunami.
但是，如果上帝能够或者愿意做这之类的事情， 干预改变事件的发生次序， 那么毫无疑问他也应该能制止海啸的发生。
69.Do we have a local God who can do little things like parking spaces, but not big things like 500 mile-per-hour waves?
难道我们有的只是一个小区域的上帝，可以管停车位这样的小事情， 却不去管时速 500英里的海浪这样的大事情？
70.That’s just not acceptable to intelligent Christians, and we must acknowledge it.
只要是有头脑的基督徒都不能接受这个观点， 我们必须承认这一点：
71.Either God is responsible for the tsunami, or God is not in control.
要么上帝为海啸负责， 要么上帝失去了控制。
72.After the tragedy, survival stories began to emerge.
悲剧发生后，开始出现劫后余生的故事。
73.You probably heard some of them.
你们也许听说过其中的一些。比如：
74.The man who surfed the wave.
一名男子因为会冲浪而生还；
75.The teenage girl who recognized the danger because she had just been learning about tsunamis at school.
一个十几岁的女孩识别出了危险， 因为她刚刚在学校学习了有关海啸的知识；
76.Then there was the congregation who had left their usual church building on the shore to hold a service in the hills.
一个教堂的会众没有使用他们平时用的在海岸边的教堂， 而改在山上做礼拜，
77.The preacher delivered an extra long sermon, so that they were still out of harm’s way when the wave struck.
牧师恰巧做了一个超长的讲道， 因此当巨浪袭来时他们还在山上而幸免于难。
78.Afterwards someone said that God must have been looking after them.
后来有人说，一定是上帝在保佑他们。
79.So the next question is about partiality.
因此，接下来的问题是关于偏袒。
80.Can we earn God’s favor by worshipping him or believing in him?
我们可以通过崇拜或信仰来赢得上帝的青睐吗？
81.Does God demand loyalty, like any medieval tyrant?
上帝是否要求忠诚，象中世纪的暴君一样？
82.A God who looks after his own, so that Christians are OK, while everyone else perishes?
上帝是否只照顾信他的人，所以基督徒没问题， 而其他人要灭亡？
83.A cosmic us and them, and a God who is guilty of the worst kind of favoritism?
这个宇宙中有我们，他们，和一个犯有严重偏袒罪的上帝？
84.That would be appalling, and that would be the point at which I would hand in my membership.
这是非常可怕的， 正是基于这一点，我辞去了我的教会职务。
85.Such a God would be morally inferior to the highest ideals of humanity.
这样的上帝在道义上甚至还不如最理想的人类道德。
86.So who is God, if not the great puppet-master or the tribal protector?
那么上帝是谁，如果他不是那个伟大的傀儡操纵者或部落保护者的话？
87.Perhaps God allows or permits terrible things to happen, so that heroism and compassion can be shown.
也许上帝同意或允许可怕的事情发生， 以便让人们有机会表现英雄主义和同情心。
88.Perhaps God is testing us: testing our charity, or our faith.
也许上帝是在考验我们：考验我们的善心、我们的信仰。
89.Perhaps there is a great, cosmic plan that allows for horrible suffering so that everything will work out OK in the end.
也许有一个伟大的宇宙计划，允许可怕的痛苦， 但一切都将最终顺利解决。
90.Perhaps, but these ideas are all just variations on God controlling everything.
也许吧，但这些说法都只是 “上帝控制一切” 的变种。
91.The supreme commander toying with expendable units in a great campaign.
在一场大战中，最高指挥官玩弄着可被牺牲掉的部队。
92.We are still left with a God who can do the tsunami and allow Auschwitz.
留给我们的仍然是一个可以引发海啸、允许奥斯威辛集中营存在的上帝。
93.In his great novel, “The Brothers Karamazov,” Dostoevsky gives these words to Ivan, addressed to his naive and devout younger brother, Alyosha:
在著名的小说《卡拉马佐夫兄弟》中，陀斯妥耶夫斯基以伊万之口， 对他天真虔诚的弟弟阿辽沙说：
94.”If the sufferings of children go to make up the sum of sufferings which is necessary for the purchase of truth, then I say beforehand that the entire truth is not worth such a price.
“如果需要用孩子们的痛苦来 凑足购买真理所需的代价的话， 我会事先说，整个真理不值这个价钱。
95.We cannot afford to pay so much for admission.
我们买不起这么昂贵的入场券。
96.It is not God that I do not accept.
我不是不接受上帝，
97.I merely, most respectfully, return Him the ticket.”
我只是恭敬地退回他的门票而已。”
98.Or perhaps God set the whole universe going at the beginning and then relinquished control forever, so that natural processes could occur, and evolution run its course.
或者也许，上帝在创造整个宇宙的时候设定好了一切， 然后永远地放弃了控制， 因此过程可以自然地发生，按进化论而展开。
99.This seems more acceptable, but it still leaves God with the ultimate moral responsibility.
这似乎更加容易接受一些， 但这仍然使上帝负有最终的道德责任。
100.Is God a cold, unfeeling spectator?
上帝是一个冷酷无情的旁观者吗？
101.Or a powerless lover, watching with infinite compassion things God is unable to control or change?
或者上帝爱莫能助，以无限的同情看着事情的发生， 而无法控制或改变？
102.Is God intimately involved in our suffering, so that He feels it in His own being?
上帝是否深切地感受到我们的痛苦， 从而觉得那也是他自己的痛苦？
103.If we believe something like this, we must let go of the puppet-master completely, take our leave of the almighty controller, abandon traditional models.
如果我们相信这样的观点，我们必须彻底抛弃认为上帝是傀儡操纵者， 全能主宰者的看法，放弃传统的信仰模式。
104.We must think again about God.
我们必须重新思考上帝。
105.Maybe God doesn’t do things at all.
也许上帝什么事也没做。
106.Maybe God isn’t an agent like all of us are agents.
也许上帝不是我们这样的代理人。
107.Early religious thought conceived God as a sort of superhuman person, doing things all over the place.
早期的宗教思想认为上帝是一种超人， 到处做一些事情。比如：
108.Beating up the Egyptians, drowning them in the Red Sea, wasting cities, getting angry.
殴打埃及人，把他们淹死在红海，毁灭城市，大发雷霆。
109.The people knew their God by His mighty acts.
人们通过上帝的这些超凡举动认识上帝。
110.But what if God doesn’t act? What if God doesn’t do things at all?
但是，如果上帝没有举动呢？如果上帝根本没有做任何事情呢？
111.What if God is in things?
如果上帝就在事物中呢？
112.The loving soul of the universe.
比如是宇宙中关爱的灵魂，
113.An in-dwelling compassionate presence, underpinning and sustaining all things.
支撑并维持所有事物存在的内在的一股仁慈的能量。
114.What if God is in things?
如果上帝就在事物中呢？
115.In the infinitely complex network of relationships and connections that make up life.
在构成生命的无限复杂的关连网络中，
116.In the natural cycle of life and death, the creation and destruction that must happen continuously.
在必然不断发生的生命与死亡、 创造与毁灭的自然周期中，
117.In the process of evolution.
在进化的过程中，
118.In the incredible intricacy and magnificence of the natural world.
在令人难以置信的复杂性和自然界的辉煌中，
119.In the collective unconscious, the soul of the human race.
在集体无意识、人类的灵魂中，
120.In you, in me; mind and body and spirit.
在你中、我中，头脑中、身体中和精神中，
121.In the tsunami, in the victims. In the depth of things.
在海啸中，在死难者中，在事物的深处，
122.In presence and in absence. In simplicity and complexity.
在存在与虚无中，在简单和复杂中，
123.In change and development and growth.
在变化、发展、壮大中。
124.How does this in-ness, this innerness, this interiority of God work?
怎么合理诠释上帝的这种 “同在性”、“内性”、“内在性” ？
125.It’s hard to conceive, and begs more questions.
人们难以理解，并提出更多的问题。
126.Is God just another name for the universe, with no independent existence at all?
也许上帝只是宇宙的另一个名字， 而根本不是一个独立的存在？
127.I don’t know To what extent can we ascribe personality to God?
我不知道 在多大程度上我们可以给上帝赋予人格？
128.I don’t know.
我不知道。
129.In the end, we have to say, “I don’t know.”
最后，我们不得不说，“我不知道。”
130.If we knew, God would not be God.
如果我们知道，上帝就不是上帝了。
131.To have faith in this God would be more like trusting an essential benevolence in the universe, and less like believing a system of doctrinal statements.
相信这个上帝 应该更象是相信宇宙中的原善， 而不是相信一套教义的陈述。
132.Isn’t it ironic that Christians who claim to believe in an infinite, unknowable being, then tie God down in closed systems and rigid doctrines?
基督徒声称 相信一个无限的、不可知的存在， 然后又把上帝束缚在一套封闭的、僵化的教条之中，难道不可笑吗？
133.How could one practice such a faith?
怎么能实践这样一种信仰？
134.By seeking the God within. By cultivating my own inwardness.
通过发自内心地寻求上帝；通过培养自己的内在灵性，
135.In silence, in meditation, in my inner space, in the me that remains when I gently put aside my passing emotions and ideas and preoccupations.
在静默中，在冥想中，在我的内心世界中， 在我轻轻放下暂时的情绪、想法和成见之后依然存在的这个本我中，
136.In awareness of the inner conversation.
在内省的意识中。
137.And how would we live such a faith? How would I live such a faith?
我们如何活出这样一种信仰？我自己怎样才能活出这样一种信仰？
138.By seeking intimate connection with your inwardness.
这需要通过寻求与你的内在灵性的密切关系，
139.The kind of relationships when deep speaks to deep.
那是一种推心置腹交谈时毫不遮掩的关系。
140.If God is in all people, then there is a meeting place where my relationship with you becomes a three-way encounter.
如果上帝存在于所有人之中，那么在我与你之间 就有一个我们三方能彼此相遇的一个地方。
141.There is an Indian greeting, which I’m sure some of you know: “Namaste,” accompanied by a respectful bow, which roughly translated means
印度有一句问候语，肯定你们当中有些人知道： “那马斯特”，伴随一个恭敬的鞠躬。 其大致的意思是
142.”That which is of God in me greets that which of God is in you.”
“我内在的上帝问候你内在的上帝。”
143.Namaste.
那马斯特。
144.And how would one deepen such a faith?
那么我们如何深化这种信仰？
145.By seeking the inwardness which is in all things.
这需要通过寻求在所有事物中的内在灵性。
146.In music and poetry, in the natural world of beauty and in the small ordinary things of life, there is a deep, indwelling presence that makes them extraordinary.
在音乐和诗歌中，在自然界的美丽中， 在平凡的生活琐事中， 都有一个深刻的、内在的存在使这些东西不平常。
147.It needs a profound attentiveness and a patient waiting.
它需要一种深邃的注意力和耐心的等待，
148.A contemplative attitude, and a generosity and openness to those whose experience is different from my own.
一个沉思的态度，以及 对与自己的经历不同的人的慷慨大方和开放包容。
149.When I stood up to speak to my people about God and the tsunami, I had no answers to offer them.
当我站起来向我们教会的人讲述上帝和海啸时， 我无法为他们提供答案。
150.No neat packages of faith, with Bible references to prove them.
圣经没有提供一套现成的套路和说词来证明，
151.Only doubts and questioning and uncertainty.
只有怀疑、质问和不确定。
152.I had some suggestions to make — possible new ways of thinking about God.
我提出了一些建议， 一些关于上帝的可能的新思路，
153.Ways that might allow us to go on, down a new and uncharted road.
这些思路或许能使我们沿着一条新的未知的道路继续走下去。
154.But in the end, the only thing I could say for sure was, “I don’t know,”
但最后，我唯一可以肯定说的是，“我不知道。“
155.and that just might be the most profoundly religious statement of all.
这也许正是最深刻虔诚的声明。
156.Thank you.
谢谢。
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